2 x 1

So, in the last 7 days, I have run twice. Twice I tell you. It's a miracle. I went about 1 mile each time. The first was hard and horrible; the second, not so bad! I am going to try to run again tomorrow. We'll see if I make it; I'm so tired.

Trial preparations are ramping back up. I had gotten spoiled with 2-day weekends there for awhile, and this Saturday, when I was sitting in my office, I remembered why the 2-day weekend is so much better! By the time Monday gets there, it seems like it's OK to go back... but with only Sunday off, it's so much harder to go back on Monday.

I took the dogs to the dog park twice this week, also. This makes for tired happy dogs, usually. But on Saturday, Parker was so obsessed with this guy who was throwing a ball (whose own dog was also obsessed)... Parker would run, full speed after the ball. One particularly fateful time, however, he was not paying attention to anything, and neither was the other dog - and they ended up pummeling each other at full speed. Parker flew through the air and did about 800 turns in the air (ok, so I'm not even sure he did any flips, but I think maybe he did). He is still limping around. Poor Parky.

OK.... off to bed.

I wonder if...

... I will find enough motivation to run that I'll be able to run the 10K on April 12th that I agreed to run so many months ago.... I MUST GET TO IT if I'm going to do it!

A post not so much about running...

I went running last Thursday. I think I ran about 2 miles total, since I ran to meet Annie, and then she and I ran together. Then, Steve and I walked home with the dogs. The run was difficult, but the company was sweet, and the time walking with Steve and the dogs much appreciated (even if Trumond can't be worn out... he just can't).

Life has been a whirlwind of late, with a trial that ramped up and was barreling full steam ahead and then all of a sudden, went away for a six-week postponement. I am not looking forward to mid-late March, knowing I have to get ramped up again.

The last three months have led to tremendous upheaval in my life, and I have not felt like talking about it, or really even acknowledging it until now. Even now, I guess I don't want to. I suppose I will just say that I feel like I am going through the motions at work, at church, in my family. I seem to be lacking spark, joy, passion; a pawn in a not-so-grand scheme. I am not excited about running (although I do like the idea of running); I find myself asking the question: Do I REALLY believe this seemingly far-fetched fairy tale story that is the Bible, and feeling (for the first time in over 15 years) like I am unable to give a definitive answer; I rarely see my husband, and when I do, we talk more about the logistics of our lives than the meaning of them. It is all very unsettling.

I wonder why my opponents are so abnormally unreasonable lately, why the neighbor is passive aggressive and leaves nastigrams instead of coming to speak with us about why he has a problem with where our friends park their cars, why the timing never seems right to sell our house in Eugene, why God has seen fit for me to be without a child, why the dog won't walk properly on a leash, and why I can't seem to do anything dependably except to be undependable. I am in a place of unanswered questions, and all I really want is some peace from it. Real peace. Not the peace of distraction, or exercise, or sleep. Until that arrives, however, I guess I will just have to settle for sleep.

A week goes by...

... and all I have to show for it is 50 some-odd hours of billed work and a 4 mile run with Annie that left me with an incredible side stitch. joy of joys. Tonight, however, Brielle, Matt, and Ian came into town for tomorrow's Superbowl/baking party. I'm pretty excited about it. A full day, tomorrow, without having to go to work! HOOOORAY!

For now, I'm totally exhausted and ready for night night!

Increasing Mileage

Yesterday, Annie and I ran 5.5 miles in about an hour! It felt good to do it, although thre were times when it was really really hard! We ran from Annie's house up to Killingsworth and then around a big block and then up a HUGE hill at the end... oh my goodness, I thought I was going to die!!! But, I was able to finish pretty strong (the last two blocks, I kicked it up a notch) and it was nice.

Of course, yesterday afternoon and today my right knee is killing me, but I think that will get better. I'm really excited that we seem to be on course for getting strong enough to run a 10K, in April, in an hour.... We're already at the mileage (almost) so now we can concentrate on speed building. I will sure be happy if we can do it! We'll see.

I didn't work today, for the first time in 2 weeks. hooorah! but it iwll be back at it tomorrow.... and I know I have to work this coming Saturday - maybe Sunday too... I don't know. In any event, I'm tired and already wanting to go to bed (it's only 7 p.m.) but I"m looking forward to the week and to being productive.

I think I went running this morning

At about 6:00, when Trumond was up and ready to go, but Steve and Parker were not... so, I got up and took him out for just under a mile run - then we came back and I gave him a bath because he smelled bad, generally (I figured out today that he piddled in his crate so he was laying on a pee-smelling bed for who knows how many nights - poor poochie... his bed is being washed now) Anyway... then, I went to work... and I came home at 10:15 p.m.... it feels like this morning's run was a year ago.

I don't mind working long hours, but I do hate the fact that of the 16.5 hours I've been awake, I worked almost 14 of them... it makes it feel like my day is just non-existent. I do have to say, though, that Steve is AMAZING!!! He knew I had to work late, so he prepared these two huge gift baskets for me of snacks and drinks and sent them to me at work - apples, oranges, peanut butter, caramel sauce, grapes, cookies, italian sodas, celery sticks, carrots, etc. It was awesome!

I think I'm going to try to sleep in until at least 7 tomorrow... that's my goal. we'll see how it goes. Maybe Steve will take early doggy duty. We'll see. Until tomorrow...

A much needed breakthrough

So, it's been a hard couple of weeks of running, and today, when I got up and thought about a 4.5 mile trek I was about to embark upon, I was less than excited. But, Annie was excited. She said she'd been looking forward to it all week. I told her that her enthusiasm and optimism would have to pull us through. And you know what, I think it did! It was pretty hard toward the end, and I suffered a bit of stomach aching stuff, but my breath and legs were OK. I am now feeling encouraged.

While we ran, Steve walked Trumond and Parker around the water front and discovered that Trumond is quite the ladies' man! They ALL wanted to pet him. Poor Parker got the "sympathy we're not ignoring you pats" too, but I don't that he can tell the difference between genuine pats and sympathy pats, so I suppose it doesn't much matter.

I spent 5 hours at work today... not so fantastic for a Saturday, but we're in full speed ahead trial mode, so life is going to be exceptionally busy for the next 6 weeks or so.

I am eating a tasty dinner of pesto pasta, cheese bread, and a wonderful caeser salad with avocado, olives, and pickles on it - all that I put together myself with stuff we had here - I'm feeling healthy AND frugal... yay.